As I reel back to the pages of my childhood, I realize that the most common question any adult asked me was what I liked to become when I grew up. Frankly speaking, it was just a question not expecting an answer out of it. Not only me, any average indian kid wasn't given much of an option. However, as a studious child, I was the favourite among all my uncles and aunts. Everyone just hoped for me to become something big in life, and achieve really something stellar ! I remember my Dad getting these competitive books for me, while I was not even a high-schooler, and took great joy when I solved those mind-boggling puzzles. Some people commented that I would indeed have to write my IAS examination, which everyone took it for granted that I would pass with flying colors anyway. That much of a confidence in me!
Okay, before you roll up your eyes and doubt my credibility towards this issue, I have to mention that it was indeed true that I was the most sought-after child in my entire clan. However, I remember one particular cousin of my mom sarcastically saying that a girl ( especially in India) cannot entirely realize her dream of becoming whatever she wants, and that she has to succumb to the wants of the society. Maybe, at that moment, I used to flare up at him for demeaning the female population, but now as I look not only into my life, but also the many "dependant-spouse" girls, giving up their careers for the sake of marital bliss, I just nod at the world-wise wisdom of my then-sardonic uncle.
Maybe, we should start off with the education systems prevailing in various places, which is a major influence in the life of an individual. Education in India is entirely a different school of thought. Now, as I send my 4 yr old son to an American private preschool, I realize many major differences in the two cultures. It's definitely "East and West" !! So opposite to each other in their approach, method and values too.
-->A three-year old in India is expected to stop wearing diapers, wear pants and march triumphantly to his kindergarten. Here, a child isn't admitted to the kindergarten until he is 5. School is actually FUN for kids in America, whereas I can still visualise the strict teachers and the stringent rules and the wailing kids in Indian schools.
-->As we grew up, passing through the various phases of school, the most important milestone had to be the 10th std. I can very well understand and remember the immense pressure a 15 year old kid faces both from his school and his parents to fulfil their first dream. Then comes the scenario of choosing your stream for further education. Mostly, its either Maths for prospective engineers and Science for the future doctors. These days, the option of choosing something else than these, like Economics or Commerce is totally alien and looked down a bit low too.(Please note that am talking about the prevalent system in South India especially) With the introduction of innumerable aggressive tutorials, vying the parents with the promise that their average child can also become an Engineer or a Doctor, the entire education system has only become a hungry market-place !
-->With two constant years of non-stop grinding, the student clears the entrance examination. I still remember Aug 2, 2000. The date of my engineering counselling. Students along with their worried parents are made to wait for endless hours, before they are made to sit before a counseller and a computer, showing the various available seats at that particular time (depending on our rank in the exam too). I am pretty much sure about a student's uncertainity in selecting his branch. Nothing depended on your interest. Everything was focussed on the seat availability and that particular branch's demand.
-->Four years into an engineering college involves a lot of changes in the adolescent, constantly reminded by the angry lecturers that we are no longer kids !! The confusing stage of teens is slowly converted into the even-more-confusing adolescence, and is just revolved around labs, libraries and of course, the "choti si love stories". Doesn't this bring a smile back to your lips ??
-->I should say that four years are definitely not enough for a confusing individual to completely understand the stream of your education. Despite the many deadlines to meet, parents force their kids to prepare for some more competitive exams for accomplishing their masters abroad, right since their third year or so. Another dream seen through the eyes of an over-ambitious parent. Finally, America beckons and here the ordinary Indian kid arrives with the million dollar dreams.
-->Two years of the most hectic days in an American school, juggling between internships, odd jobs and reports to be meted out, the kid who started living the American dream in the most enthusiastic way, is slowly reduced into a money-minting machine. The evolution of an NRI. Or more so, a software engineer ! Ironically, very few people graduating in a non-software stream choose to remain in their own specialised field. The rest of the herd is thrown into the maddenning software cattle and the journey embarks on the "Survival of the fittest" !!
In this entire process of a person evolving from a wailing preschooler to a crazy NRI, the true calling of a person is definitely sleeping in the grave. In the process of achieving your parents' dream, you tend to go overboard in fulfilling their goals and not yours. A chid's goals are always understated. Mom knows the best or Dad knows the best. A child can never take his own decisions. Isn't it so unfair ? Why should an individual not choose what he can become in his life? Is it always the parents who has to make the decisions for them? I do agree about parents knowing much better than us, but it can be restricted to only some worldly wisdom words for the kids, and not indulge themselves into almost all the issues of a child. A child can want to become an interior designer, or an artist or even a hair-stylist. Each individual interests are definitely varied and they should be respected, and not be looked down. Every profession has a certain set of rules and people playing by them have been immensely successful in their respective careers. You just don't need to be an engineer or a doctor to call it kicks.
Before you decide what your kid wants to be, be sure to ask him what he wants to be and also learn to listen to their heart. Don't be surprised with the wackiest of answers from your toddler. For him, a firefighter is also an option !! But who knows, whats his real calling ?? Its time to wake up and give him a boost of his interest. Success will definitely beckon your little one, as they grow up.
As for me, I too, like any ordinary parent, dream of sending my kids to Harvard or Oxford !! But, who knows?? My little ones might want to become something else and surprise me entirely. I realize that the only thing which lies in my hands is to ensure that they turn out to be wonderful persons, and that's my true calling now !! "A full-time mom" hehe... Did anyone in my childhood ever imagine me of this?? Well, someone in the family has to bake and clean, and am good at them too. So, whats there to complain ? But yeah, did I mention that my secret ambition is to become a famous news-reader.... despite me having a Bachelors in Information Technology ????
That's life.... full of surprises... both good and bad.
You take your call !! Its really TIME ...
