With my husband and I completing a decade in companionship, we celebrated it with a bit shopping and a "not-so-quiet" dinner(with the kids banging others tables )in my favourite restaurant. Over my dinner, I was pondering over the amount of time we spent together fighting and squabbling and eventually making it over. As a couple, we definitely had some lows and some bad times, but it has always been the heavenly knot of marriage that bound us together. For Sure !
As a teenager, I remember reading a book called "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus". So, how many people are there with me ? I know its a pretty famous book, mostly with the fairer sex. I guess, the guys wouldn't even bother to know the differences between the two sexes, let alone reading a whole book on it. Thats exactly where the difference actually lies between a man and a woman! Isnt it ? I am not entirely sure about the planetary behaviour of men and women, but dont you think that its "EARTH" where we have to live in together, and bear each others moods for the rest of the lives? Thats when I realized the wonderful art of balancing each other for "earthly" living. Read on ....
Now, lets call the male mentality as "The Mars thing (M)" and the female mentality as "The Venus thing(V)"... and the art of adjusting can be called obviously as "The Earth thing(E)". I am not too sure about the other couples, but I would like to relate my own balancing act with my dearest hubby.
Cleanliness M : He was this not-so-tidy guy, who was the least conscious of the surroundings. Would you believe that he used to actually throw papers and groundnut leftovers in the living room itself, as if it were a park??
V : I've been raised by this ultra-cleanliness freak type of a mom, who wouldn't let anything be disorganized in her house. A little genes, a little habit... made me an organized freak too. Of course, my brother didn't entirely pick that habit....so, I should mention that I am not blaming my mother-in-law for my husband's untidy habits. Maybe, its just a guy thing !
E : The balancing act ?? He does the vacuuming every week (sometimes being told, sometimes on his own) and he is now so much used to everything being in place in our house, he just finds it difficult to realize that he was something very opposite of what he is now !
Cooking M : I should mention here that my mom-in-law is a great cook, and a fast one at that too. Its definitely the genes here, my husband is a great connoisseur of food and loves cooking. If not for a software pro, his next best career option would have been being a chef ! (Not to mention, he still dreams of owning a restaurant). He loves entertaining people with dinners and lunches, and with his signature dishes. He just beams when people admire his food, and absolutely loves every moment in the kitchen( unlike many guys i know ) I don't need to add that he was my cooking Guru, and what a teacher !!
V : As a geek I was, I never showed interest in cooking prior to getting hitched. The maximum I could make was a wonderful Tea, and that was it. In fact, I was so absorbed in my world of books and stuff, that I used to forget to switch off the stove too (if my mom had to run an errand while cooking). Post-marriage, I had this strange feeling that I would get sick of the kitchen very soon, with my husband hovering over the dishes and constantly teaching, while I was cooking.
E : Seven years and two kids later, I enjoy my cooking very much now. Thanks to the culinary interest my husband got, I developed it along with him and now try all types of cuisines( including Thai, chinese and Italian too). Need to try my hand at baking yet. My husband, however, is still the better cook !!
Cricket M : It must be the typical Indian male syndrome. The Cricket thing. He's been this fervent fan of Indian cricket, but sometimes,I find it irritating to see him watching the highlights of some random "Kenya-Holland" team cricket too. Currently, he plays cricket weekly, featuring in the local tournaments too. The energy he possesses for the game is incredible. Even after an entire night of playing cards, he would still wake up at the wee hours of saturday morning for the game.
V : As a proud indian, I just knew that there is a certain Mr.Sachin Tendulkar in the Indian cricket team. I never even knew his middle name(My husband actually knows the statistics of every single match and the team members too.... shame on me).
E : I have never developed the taste for the game, but I try to indulge in his animated conversations about the boring Test matches and somewhat-interesting one-day matches. Hey, now I know that a cricket team consists of 11 members. So, isnt that quite a balance ?? hehe.
Movies M : He comes from a family, where movies are completely alien. As far as I know, their family watched only one movie together in their entire lifetime. Need I say more ?
V : I come from a family where entertainment is spelt with "Cinema". As kids, I remember watching every possible movie with my family almost every Saturday. My dad was a major movie buff, and both me and my brother have definitely inherited that trait.
E : We now watch all kind of movies almost every weekend. My husband prefers the heavy-duty action Hollywood though, while I opt for the mushy Bollywood and Telugu movies. In the end, my kids are having a great view of the cinema world in all the languages possible.
ManagementM : My husband, is a great manager(sometimes, I call him the "Manipulator"... but thats too insulting, maybe and it isn't true too). He's just very good at getting things done, even with a stranger. He's capable of getting awesome deals on anything he tries his hands on. I hope he isn't winking at the receptionist, while I am not looking around. hehe
V : I have always kept to myself. Being a quiet child, and now being a mom of 2 active kids, I hardly manage things with the outside world. And with such an able partner by the side, why do I really have to bother ?
E : But yeah, we do balance each other with the right kind of financial planning. The bills, credit cards, everything is discussed every month, and I think that's a healthy sign in our relationship.
KidsM : My husband has always been enthusiastic about kids. But he isn't this coochi-coo types, who would play endless hours with his kids. Because of his gruelling office schedules, he gets a comparatively lesser time than me to spend around with the kiddos.
V : Me, being a full-time mom, knows all the kids needs and wants. Sometimes, their language is comprehensible only to me. I understand every single gesture of theirs, but I guess, it comes along with the whole package of being a stay-at-home mom., and am glad about it too.
E : We definitely try to balance the kids thing, by sharing their activities throughout the day. The weekends are generally managed more by my dearest hubby, who tries to give me a sort of rest, by allowing me to indulge in retail therapy.... while he baby-sits them.
FashionM : Here, I have to mention that my husband was this ultra-modern guy, with his chic sense of dress and style. He could be qualified as a metro-sexual, and I was more than shocked when he revealed that he actually used cream bleach for his face(Thank God, its only once during his teens !!). Having said that, he has a keen sense of fashion and a truckload of patience while shopping too.
V : During college, I was this ultra-geek girl, with spectacles on(just for headache, but I thought that they would give me a nice,geeky feel... hehe) and with long-sleeves salwar-kameez all the time. I was introduced to the world of western fashion by my then-fiance himself. I hardly knew what make-up was too.
E : My husband has sobered down with his shopping attitude, but still loves buying new clothes for me and my kids. As for me, I have completely evolved myself into fashion, and now love wearing make-up and jewellery, according to the ocassion.
Gadgets M : My husband is a major gizmo freak. I loving call him GG(Gadget Guru). He keeps track of all the latest boy-toys in the market, and keeps fiddling with them. I jokingly say of my husband " He runs on batteries!!". Not true in all cases though..hehe
V : I have a fair knowledge of the current technology, but I dont let it overpower my daily life. I am this simple girl, who would prefer a basic phone to a PDA.
E : Both of us being so much different in this issue, is in itself a balancing act. Thanks to him, we have all the latest gadgets at home, and thanks to me, we don't go completely overboard.
Friends M : My husband has a very less social circle, in terms of friends. His colleagues are his current friends, and the rapport he shares with everyone is never overboard.He has very less personal friends, and hardly hangs out with anyone of them. The only current passion is his cricket, for which I have no complaints anymore.
V : For me, friends form an integral part of my life. I just can't do without them. I need to be in touch with all my buddies, and it's just a part of my routine. Though I don't get to hang out with my friends, because of my motherhood, I atleast keep myself entertained through phones.
E : Though my husband has very few buddies, we have these parties for my friends, where he joins my group of friends in the most friendly way. I love the way he indulges himself and tries to be one among them. It's one way of showing that he cares for me and my friendship.
Communication M : My hubby is the typical male, the calmer type. He doesn't speak a lot, atleast as compared to me.
V : I am this non-stop yakkity yak girl, who can actually joke with a total stranger too.
E : The balancing act ?? yeah, I still do the talking and he does the listening part(never know when he dozes off, though... hehe).
Romance M : He is the typical Capricon male, where you cannot expect running around trees, and proposing a girl with knees on the ground. He is this higly rooted-to-reality type guy, where romance do exists, but maintains that you don't need to remind it every single moment.
V : I am this ultra-filmy girl, highly influenced by movies like DDLJ, and used to also listen for the fictitious guitar strumming. Silly na ? Even now, I would love to express love through flowers, gifts and a simple gesture. I know am expecting it too much, but that's me.
E : Thanks to a friend, I realized that guys aren't totally expressive, atleast as much as I thought. But that doesn't mean that they love us lesser than we do. Its just that guys don't have the Romance cells working as much as the female brain. So, let it be. Atleast, its an achievement that we celebrate our "First kiss day" "First phone day" (on my reminder) too.
These were only some examples about our bitter-sweet relationship. Did I hear someone say "Opposites attract !" ?
