As I reel back to the pages of my childhood, I realize that the most common question any adult asked me was what I liked to become when I grew up. Frankly speaking, it was just a question not expecting an answer out of it. Not only me, any average indian kid wasn't given much of an option. However, as a studious child, I was the favourite among all my uncles and aunts. Everyone just hoped for me to become something big in life, and achieve really something stellar ! I remember my Dad getting these competitive books for me, while I was not even a high-schooler, and took great joy when I solved those mind-boggling puzzles. Some people commented that I would indeed have to write my IAS examination, which everyone took it for granted that I would pass with flying colors anyway. That much of a confidence in me!
Okay, before you roll up your eyes and doubt my credibility towards this issue, I have to mention that it was indeed true that I was the most sought-after child in my entire clan. However, I remember one particular cousin of my mom sarcastically saying that a girl ( especially in India) cannot entirely realize her dream of becoming whatever she wants, and that she has to succumb to the wants of the society. Maybe, at that moment, I used to flare up at him for demeaning the female population, but now as I look not only into my life, but also the many "dependant-spouse" girls, giving up their careers for the sake of marital bliss, I just nod at the world-wise wisdom of my then-sardonic uncle.
Maybe, we should start off with the education systems prevailing in various places, which is a major influence in the life of an individual. Education in India is entirely a different school of thought. Now, as I send my 4 yr old son to an American private preschool, I realize many major differences in the two cultures. It's definitely "East and West" !! So opposite to each other in their approach, method and values too.
-->A three-year old in India is expected to stop wearing diapers, wear pants and march triumphantly to his kindergarten. Here, a child isn't admitted to the kindergarten until he is 5. School is actually FUN for kids in America, whereas I can still visualise the strict teachers and the stringent rules and the wailing kids in Indian schools.
-->As we grew up, passing through the various phases of school, the most important milestone had to be the 10th std. I can very well understand and remember the immense pressure a 15 year old kid faces both from his school and his parents to fulfil their first dream. Then comes the scenario of choosing your stream for further education. Mostly, its either Maths for prospective engineers and Science for the future doctors. These days, the option of choosing something else than these, like Economics or Commerce is totally alien and looked down a bit low too.(Please note that am talking about the prevalent system in South India especially) With the introduction of innumerable aggressive tutorials, vying the parents with the promise that their average child can also become an Engineer or a Doctor, the entire education system has only become a hungry market-place !
-->With two constant years of non-stop grinding, the student clears the entrance examination. I still remember Aug 2, 2000. The date of my engineering counselling. Students along with their worried parents are made to wait for endless hours, before they are made to sit before a counseller and a computer, showing the various available seats at that particular time (depending on our rank in the exam too). I am pretty much sure about a student's uncertainity in selecting his branch. Nothing depended on your interest. Everything was focussed on the seat availability and that particular branch's demand.
-->Four years into an engineering college involves a lot of changes in the adolescent, constantly reminded by the angry lecturers that we are no longer kids !! The confusing stage of teens is slowly converted into the even-more-confusing adolescence, and is just revolved around labs, libraries and of course, the "choti si love stories". Doesn't this bring a smile back to your lips ??
-->I should say that four years are definitely not enough for a confusing individual to completely understand the stream of your education. Despite the many deadlines to meet, parents force their kids to prepare for some more competitive exams for accomplishing their masters abroad, right since their third year or so. Another dream seen through the eyes of an over-ambitious parent. Finally, America beckons and here the ordinary Indian kid arrives with the million dollar dreams.
-->Two years of the most hectic days in an American school, juggling between internships, odd jobs and reports to be meted out, the kid who started living the American dream in the most enthusiastic way, is slowly reduced into a money-minting machine. The evolution of an NRI. Or more so, a software engineer ! Ironically, very few people graduating in a non-software stream choose to remain in their own specialised field. The rest of the herd is thrown into the maddenning software cattle and the journey embarks on the "Survival of the fittest" !!
In this entire process of a person evolving from a wailing preschooler to a crazy NRI, the true calling of a person is definitely sleeping in the grave. In the process of achieving your parents' dream, you tend to go overboard in fulfilling their goals and not yours. A chid's goals are always understated. Mom knows the best or Dad knows the best. A child can never take his own decisions. Isn't it so unfair ? Why should an individual not choose what he can become in his life? Is it always the parents who has to make the decisions for them? I do agree about parents knowing much better than us, but it can be restricted to only some worldly wisdom words for the kids, and not indulge themselves into almost all the issues of a child. A child can want to become an interior designer, or an artist or even a hair-stylist. Each individual interests are definitely varied and they should be respected, and not be looked down. Every profession has a certain set of rules and people playing by them have been immensely successful in their respective careers. You just don't need to be an engineer or a doctor to call it kicks.
Before you decide what your kid wants to be, be sure to ask him what he wants to be and also learn to listen to their heart. Don't be surprised with the wackiest of answers from your toddler. For him, a firefighter is also an option !! But who knows, whats his real calling ?? Its time to wake up and give him a boost of his interest. Success will definitely beckon your little one, as they grow up.
As for me, I too, like any ordinary parent, dream of sending my kids to Harvard or Oxford !! But, who knows?? My little ones might want to become something else and surprise me entirely. I realize that the only thing which lies in my hands is to ensure that they turn out to be wonderful persons, and that's my true calling now !! "A full-time mom" hehe... Did anyone in my childhood ever imagine me of this?? Well, someone in the family has to bake and clean, and am good at them too. So, whats there to complain ? But yeah, did I mention that my secret ambition is to become a famous news-reader.... despite me having a Bachelors in Information Technology ????
That's life.... full of surprises... both good and bad.
You take your call !! Its really TIME ...
Friday, November 7, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
The Simple Life
Life !
The transformation of the girl inside me to a modern-day woman has made me realize the drastic changes over these years in my life. Am not talking about the relationships here! I have done enough with them in my earlier posts anyway. But, what am trying to pen down here are the little things we tend to forget in this maddenning, competitive world.
Technology has undoubtedly creeped into our simple lives, having its pros and cons. Of course, with the advent of new machines, life has become faster and more efficient. But yeah, it's a lot more complicated than the simple, old times.
---> Am talking about the good old times of our grandmoms, where unadultered food was one of the main ways of showing love. The aromas of home-made butter, the endless delicacies during festivals, and not to mention, the fresh milk from milkmen walking down their clanking belled cows down the road. Right now, for any modern day woman, the haven for food issues are ready-to-eat meals easily found in any supermart! I have to admit am one among them (for some rare evenings when my home-cooked food becomes a bore!), but I still crave for those yummy dishes my grandmom used to dish out for us as soon as we asked them for. Those were the times!
---> As a kid, I still remember writing letters to my old friends in another town. That was the age when the world wasn't totally acclaimed by the omnipresent internet.(in the early 90's). The good old way of writing letters! Don't you think with the exchange of the daily emails, the old-fashioned way of scribbling our thoughts with our own hands has literally gone with the wind? I strongly feel that hand-written letters are a sweet way of conveying one's love. I used to call the endless love-letters I used to write for my hubby as "Holy manuscripts" ! That was of course, during the golden phase of the engagement-marriage days, when email was still a very much not-so-common entity. They are still treasured back in my mom's place, and I just love smelling them, whenever I visit my mom. They just remind me of the good times, the forgotten funny incidents, and it also serves as a way to rekindle our old flames(just in case, we forget with our daily crazy schedule).
Don't you think it's time we revisit the post-office yet again? Not so regularly, but atleast once in a while ???
---> As kids, me and my brother had always been very much varied with our personal interests. He was a major animal lover, and literally cried until he got his very own puppy, at the age of 8. I was this not-so-friendly girl with the canine family, and one such addition to our own family was a bit disturbing to me. In the intial days of our home-coming puppy, I dreaded going back home from school. Both my mom and my bro took great care of the little member, while I just watched it from a distance. As time passed, I gradually started liking the pet, and more so it had become a part of our life too. I have started to like animals, and never got scared of them, as in the initial days. The cutie pie stayed on with us for a whopping 12 years( a quality time for a canine), before it succumbed to a fatal sunstroke. I still remember the day it left us forever. I cried more than anyone else in the family. Maybe, all the feelings I bottled up for it since childhood had just seemed to overflow. My brother, on the contrary, took it in his stride, and surprisingly just prayed for its soul calmly.
Now, with two sons and a not-at-all animal friendly husband, I yearn of having my own pet. Maybe, when my boys grow a bit more. I am still hoping for my younger one to cry and get a puppy home, ala his uncle. The good old times will start again!
---> I read somewhere about loving the nature around you. An European author wrote about people living in America, that they just don't seem to find time for anything except their routine. She got nostalgic about her earlier life in Europe, where people actually stop to smell the roses even during a busy day. Isn't is wonderfully romantic? Or to say the least, isn't it a nice way to love the nature?
When I was a kid, we had a patio full of plants in our house. My mom was this nature-crazy woman, whom you already are aware of her fondness for animals. And this was just another great hobby my mom inculcated. The art of raising plants. Having a living organism in your house puts a whole lot of responsibility on your mind. It definitely helps you stay alert. It can be just a pot-plant or a pet too. But, the goal my mom put us was to drill in more compassion towards others. And the charity just began from home. We were given the tasks of watering the plants, and walking our doggy, even as kids. Now, as I realize that I keep giving umpteen excuses for either having a pet or atleast some plants in my house, I remind myself of my mom and also the European lady who smelt roses on her way to office. Isn't it the finest tribute to nature? And it should start from home.
But, of course, as I started on... Modern-day evolution and it's impact on our daily life has its share of advantages too.
The first being the internet. How can I ever thank this great medium for letting me be in touch with all my old buddies at a click's distance. Would it have been possible to share my life's memories through pictures, videos and not to mention, this blog, without the internet's sprawling presence into our lives? Its definitely way much easier to reach out to an old friend, than in the old days.
Another important thing I realize being a mom is to have a better life now in the 21st century, than in the old times. Starting with the basic diapers, readymade foods, strollers, the list of making a mom's life easier is just endless.
And of course, kudos to all the scientists who invented the various electronic devices. I simply can't imagine my life without the basic stuff like, the washing machine, blender, or even the TV. Life would have been very difficult without any one of them too.
But, before you jump into conclusions that this post is a bunch of contradictions, I just wanted you to know my feelings towards the life we are presently leading. If you still find it contradictary, then you need to blame the life we are leading in this 21st century. Its a whirlwind of activities, spurned with the magic spell of modern-day technology.
That being said, yeah, I still dream of a small garden house, with my large dog looming around the house, and my kids bathing in the nearby pond. Well, am just dreaming now!! I have that much freedom. It's my idea of a "SIMPLE LIFE" !!
Whats yours ????
The transformation of the girl inside me to a modern-day woman has made me realize the drastic changes over these years in my life. Am not talking about the relationships here! I have done enough with them in my earlier posts anyway. But, what am trying to pen down here are the little things we tend to forget in this maddenning, competitive world.
Technology has undoubtedly creeped into our simple lives, having its pros and cons. Of course, with the advent of new machines, life has become faster and more efficient. But yeah, it's a lot more complicated than the simple, old times.
---> Am talking about the good old times of our grandmoms, where unadultered food was one of the main ways of showing love. The aromas of home-made butter, the endless delicacies during festivals, and not to mention, the fresh milk from milkmen walking down their clanking belled cows down the road. Right now, for any modern day woman, the haven for food issues are ready-to-eat meals easily found in any supermart! I have to admit am one among them (for some rare evenings when my home-cooked food becomes a bore!), but I still crave for those yummy dishes my grandmom used to dish out for us as soon as we asked them for. Those were the times!
---> As a kid, I still remember writing letters to my old friends in another town. That was the age when the world wasn't totally acclaimed by the omnipresent internet.(in the early 90's). The good old way of writing letters! Don't you think with the exchange of the daily emails, the old-fashioned way of scribbling our thoughts with our own hands has literally gone with the wind? I strongly feel that hand-written letters are a sweet way of conveying one's love. I used to call the endless love-letters I used to write for my hubby as "Holy manuscripts" ! That was of course, during the golden phase of the engagement-marriage days, when email was still a very much not-so-common entity. They are still treasured back in my mom's place, and I just love smelling them, whenever I visit my mom. They just remind me of the good times, the forgotten funny incidents, and it also serves as a way to rekindle our old flames(just in case, we forget with our daily crazy schedule).
Don't you think it's time we revisit the post-office yet again? Not so regularly, but atleast once in a while ???
---> As kids, me and my brother had always been very much varied with our personal interests. He was a major animal lover, and literally cried until he got his very own puppy, at the age of 8. I was this not-so-friendly girl with the canine family, and one such addition to our own family was a bit disturbing to me. In the intial days of our home-coming puppy, I dreaded going back home from school. Both my mom and my bro took great care of the little member, while I just watched it from a distance. As time passed, I gradually started liking the pet, and more so it had become a part of our life too. I have started to like animals, and never got scared of them, as in the initial days. The cutie pie stayed on with us for a whopping 12 years( a quality time for a canine), before it succumbed to a fatal sunstroke. I still remember the day it left us forever. I cried more than anyone else in the family. Maybe, all the feelings I bottled up for it since childhood had just seemed to overflow. My brother, on the contrary, took it in his stride, and surprisingly just prayed for its soul calmly.
Now, with two sons and a not-at-all animal friendly husband, I yearn of having my own pet. Maybe, when my boys grow a bit more. I am still hoping for my younger one to cry and get a puppy home, ala his uncle. The good old times will start again!
---> I read somewhere about loving the nature around you. An European author wrote about people living in America, that they just don't seem to find time for anything except their routine. She got nostalgic about her earlier life in Europe, where people actually stop to smell the roses even during a busy day. Isn't is wonderfully romantic? Or to say the least, isn't it a nice way to love the nature?
When I was a kid, we had a patio full of plants in our house. My mom was this nature-crazy woman, whom you already are aware of her fondness for animals. And this was just another great hobby my mom inculcated. The art of raising plants. Having a living organism in your house puts a whole lot of responsibility on your mind. It definitely helps you stay alert. It can be just a pot-plant or a pet too. But, the goal my mom put us was to drill in more compassion towards others. And the charity just began from home. We were given the tasks of watering the plants, and walking our doggy, even as kids. Now, as I realize that I keep giving umpteen excuses for either having a pet or atleast some plants in my house, I remind myself of my mom and also the European lady who smelt roses on her way to office. Isn't it the finest tribute to nature? And it should start from home.
But, of course, as I started on... Modern-day evolution and it's impact on our daily life has its share of advantages too.
The first being the internet. How can I ever thank this great medium for letting me be in touch with all my old buddies at a click's distance. Would it have been possible to share my life's memories through pictures, videos and not to mention, this blog, without the internet's sprawling presence into our lives? Its definitely way much easier to reach out to an old friend, than in the old days.
Another important thing I realize being a mom is to have a better life now in the 21st century, than in the old times. Starting with the basic diapers, readymade foods, strollers, the list of making a mom's life easier is just endless.
And of course, kudos to all the scientists who invented the various electronic devices. I simply can't imagine my life without the basic stuff like, the washing machine, blender, or even the TV. Life would have been very difficult without any one of them too.
But, before you jump into conclusions that this post is a bunch of contradictions, I just wanted you to know my feelings towards the life we are presently leading. If you still find it contradictary, then you need to blame the life we are leading in this 21st century. Its a whirlwind of activities, spurned with the magic spell of modern-day technology.
That being said, yeah, I still dream of a small garden house, with my large dog looming around the house, and my kids bathing in the nearby pond. Well, am just dreaming now!! I have that much freedom. It's my idea of a "SIMPLE LIFE" !!
Whats yours ????
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